How it could have been
by 666darknessangel666
Summary: How would things have gone if Hirato had never destroyed the boat Gareki was on? What if Gareki wound up being the pet of a Kafka worker? What if he got saved by Hirato years later than he should have been? Here's how I think things would have gone. T for cussing and mentions of abuse. Warnings will be added on as needed and rating will go up in future. Eventual yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Karneval.**

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><p>Gareki watched bored as his master did some work. He hadn't been able to go on a mission for a week. He sighed and stretched. The collar on his neck pulling at him. He grimaced as he tugged at it He'd had to wear it ever since his master had found him on that ship. He barely remembered the ship. He only knew that he'd almost died from hunger.<p>

He'd long gotten over any grudge against anything that had happened to him, years of being punished for any intense emotion had forced him into a near permanent apathy. He never talked. There was no need to. He was only ever sent on kill missions. He knew his master worked for something called Kafka but that was all he knew of him. He didn't even know the man's name. He was sure he'd heard it but he never cared enough to listen to it.

His master was Master and had always been that since the first beating. Gareki wasn't dumb. He could recognize when a situation was good or bad and he knew what to do to receive the least pain and suffering, he hadn't had a punishment in months.

His master spoke "Gareki." Gareki looked at him, alert and attentive, his master continued "We'll be having guests tomorrow. Some of my associates will be coming. You'll stay out of sight as often as you can until dinner. At dinner you will sit at the table and be as perfect as you can. They know of you and your status but they may speak to you. If they do speak back and answer any questions. Do not speak unless spoken to."

Gareki nodded his understanding and his master went back to his work. Gareki didn't really feel either way about the dinner. He'd been shown off before. Always as the perfect pet or the perfect killer. Oh yes Gareki was good at what he did. No emotions meant nothing to get in the way of his method. He had no worries about killing the people he was sent to.

Gareki knew the life he lived was fucked up and he did actually hate living here with a passion but he saw no escape from the situation and as long as he played by the rules he didn't need one. His master lived a plush and cozy lifestyle and as long as Gareki wasn't bad he got the privilege to borrow bits of that lifestyle. Comfy beds and good food. The pool and the library. He had no enemies here.

If a clear opening for escape was given to him he'd accept it but until then why risk it? None of his thoughts ever showed on his face. He's been trained for apathy so that's what was shown. His master finished the work and left which meant Gareki was free to leave the room and go else where. He thought about going to the library but decided against it and went to his room instead.

He went to the bathroom and began to strip for a shower, ignoring all the scars and old wounds as usual. No good ever came from dwelling on them. He glance in the mirror as he passed and as usual the scars around his neck stood out sharply. He scowled and ignored those as well. The scars came from how many times the collar had been yanked around by his master.

It hadn't happened in a while but it used to happen what seemed like every five minutes. His master wouldn't even need a reason he'd just grab the collar and yank and chafe it till his neck was scraped and bleeding a little then let go and leave. Gareki hated those scars. He wished he could take the collar off but it was locked to his neck and since it was a very thick metal he'd never been able to tear it off.

He quickly took his shower and went to bed. The only time he couldn't be apathetic was when he was finally able to relax. That's when memories of other times hit and he would remember each and every scar and how it had come about. He gave a shuddering breath and clenched his eyes closed as he forced the thoughts from his head and tried to go to sleep.

Even if he slept there would still be nightmares but those were easier to deal with in his opinion. He was almost to sleep, the memories slowly drifting away and he sighed. At least _that_ memory hadn't come. He wanted to forget that and never remember it again. He fell asleep then and the nightmares continued where his mind had left off but his face stayed calm until morning.

He was woken, as usual, by the sun shining right in his face. He yawned and got up, dressing a little nicer than usual because of his masters guests. He sighed. His master had told him to stay out of the way as much as possible so that meant get anything you need and stay in your room until needed. He went and ate a quick breakfast then grabbed a few books from the library then went back to his room.

Around 10 he heard the guests arrive but since he hadn't been called he stayed in his room. When noon came around he went and grabbed some lunch because he hadn't been told he couldn't. His master caught site of him leaving the kitchen and called him into the dining room where he and his guests had been eating "Ah Gareki. Getting some lunch were you? We were just speaking of you."

Gareki nodded and looked at the guests. There were about 10 of them and for some reason a boy with white hair was seated beside some rich looking woman. Gareki wondered if the boy was her son. The white-haired boy looked at him and tilted his head a little like he was curious. It was just then that Gareki realized the boys hands were handcuffed.

He looked at the woman in a new light. This boy was a possession to her than. Gareki almost wondered in what way before he realized that might bring up unwanted mental images. He held in a sigh "If you'll excuse me." he bowed a little and left grimacing as he heard the conversation about him pick up when he left.

He went back to his room and read until dinner. He mentally prepared himself for having to talk and interact with people and see that boy again. The boy didn't look like he'd restrain himself from asking questions and he was obviously curious about Gareki. He schooled his face into his usual apathy as he reached the dining room a few minutes before the dinner would be served.

The guests hadn't gotten there yet. His master saw him and pointed at a chair at the middle of the table and Gareki nodded. Of course he was being sat in the middle. He was being shown off tonight. He took his seat and a few minutes later the guests began taking there seats as well. The food was served and the dinner began.

Gareki wasn't asked any questions until half way through the meal when some overly fancy women smiled at him "So Gareki. I heard your good with weapons." Gareki nodded even though he mentally face-palmed at the understatement. The woman smiled again "How'd you like it if I gave you a job to do for me? With your masters permission of course." Gareki glanced at his master who just nodded a little.

Gareki gave her a fake smile "What kind of mission?" the woman gave a wicked smirk "There's this woman in Paris who decided it'd be fun to scam me out of 50,000 dollars. Now that's a small amount of money to me and usually I wouldn't bother but I can't stand for that woman's outrageous behavior. Find her and make her pay in blood please."

Privately Gareki couldn't care less for this woman's problems but he agreed to do it anyway because he hadn't been a mission in a week and he was getting bored. Gareki was able to finish dinner in mostly peace though he did receive a few more questions from people. He pointedly ignored the white-haired boys stareing all night and then dinner was over.

Gareki was going to leave the room when his master called him over. He was standing next to the woman who had come with the white-haired boy. Gareki made his way over and waited patiently for his master to speak. His master turned to him "Lady Mine would like to speak to you Gareki." Gareki nodded and turned to the woman, Mine.

She smiled at him "Hello Gareki. My boy over there, Nai was bugging me about you. He wants to spend a little time with you if that's acceptable." Gareki sighed internally but his master was right there and he didn't want a punishment "Yes. It's fine." Mine smiled wider "That's great." she called Nai over "Nai this is Gareki, Gareki this is Nai." Nai smiled a little at Gareki "Hi" Gareki nodded "Hey."

Nai still had the handcuffs on Gareki looked at his master for dismissal and his master nodded. Gareki turned to Nai "Come on then." and led Nai towards the gardens. He rarely went outside but he didn't want to hang out inside where all the guests were and he didn't want to take Nai to his room either. They sat on one of the benches and there was silence.

Gareki wasn't one for starting conversations and Nai obviously didn't know what to say first so they sat in silence for a while until Gareki sighed and started the talk "What's your relation with that Mine woman?" Nai startled but frowned "She took me to her house and locked my hands together. She's a little scary sometimes. I've only been with her a few days."

Gareki was about to ask another question when there was a huge booming noise from the house behind them. He stood up quickly and whipped around. Part of the house was on fire. He gaped for a minute before realizing that this could be a chance. A clear cut chance to get away. He grinned and turned to Nai "Want to get away from here?" Nai nodded hesitantly and Gareki grabbed his hand and pulled him along as he ran.

He ran for the back gate but they didn't get very far before something swooped down in front of them and stood there. Gareki stopped running. It was a man with black hair and a top hat. Gareki glared "Who are you?" The man looked at him with sharp eyes "Are you with Kafka?" Gareki blinked at the name. The man said it with a certain derision so he obviously wasn't part of it like his master was. Might even be working against it.

Gareki shook his head "No we're not. If you looking for people like that check the mansion that just exploded. If you find an old man in there give him a good kick and tell him it's from Gareki." The man looked at him and Nai for a few tense seconds "If you're not with Kafka why are you here?"

Gareki wasn't about to drop his whole life story on this man so he settled for "Ever heard of slavery. I'm in a fucking collar and Nai's in handcuffs. The fuck do you thinks going on." The man seemed surprised for a second before nodding and swiping a phone out of nowhere. He spoke into it for a few seconds and Gareki decided he was going to ignore this guy and leave. He began leading Nai away but was stopped by something else swooping down.

Gareki growled, not again. This guy had blond hair. He smiled at Nai and Gareki "I'm here to take you to the airship. Come along quietly please." Gareki shook his head "Why should we go with you?" The man's smile drooped a little "Eh? Didn't Hirato explain? You two are witnesses. We're with the National Defense Agency, Circus. Please come to the airship."

Gareki and Nai looked at each other. Gareki didn't want to go but he could see that Nai wanted to. That was just fine with him but he wasn't going. He heard a sigh from behind him and the other man, Hirato was grabbing at him. Gareki immediately went pale and went into overdrive mode. He dropped like a stone and his leg shot out sweeping Hirato off his feet. Gareki shuddered a little.

He couldn't remember a time when he'd been touched without the intent to hurt him and he wasn't going to let anything like that happen. The blond man yelped "Hey! It's fine he was just going to fly you to the ship." Gareki heaved a deep breath "I don't want to go to your fucking ship! I finally get a chance to leave this place and you guys think I'm going to go with you quietly! No way. I'm going to leave and you're going to let me. If you really are some kind of defense agency then you can't kidnap me to you ship."

Hirato was finally getting up "Your right we can't kidnap you but we can arrest you upon suspicion. We came here to investigate Kafka and we found you. That's enough to arrest you. If you come quiet nothing like that will happen we'll talk with you about what you know and that will be that." Gareki glared at him. He hated this and he hated the situation and he hated his master and the mansion they'd lived in and he hated this garden and his life and the two men in front of him.

Nai tugged at his sleeve and the chains on his hands rattled a little. Gareki looked at him and Nai smiled a little "I think we should go with them Gareki." Gareki took a deep breath and released it "Fine. I'll go with you but don't think for one second that I won't be leaving as soon as the interrogation's over." Hirato smiled "Wouldn't dream of it. Yogi." The blond man, Yogi nodded and moved to grab Nai and Gareki.

Gareki flinched back from the touch and Yogi held up his hands "It's okay. It won't hurt." Gareki closed his eyes and counted to ten then nodded. He hated this situation. He tensed when the arm came around him and the longer it was there the more tense he got. Memories playing in his head over and over. Of hits and touches. Mocking words and pain, pain, pain.

They were flying then and Gareki could barely take it anymore. The arms around him were to tight and darker memories than usual were being brought back to him and he just knew if this took to long _that _ memory would return. He was breathing quickly and he shuddered a little every few seconds. He felt like he was going to puke but squashed the urge violently. He could control that at least.

They reached the ship at last and Gareki was let down. He sat there on his hands and knees and just concentrated on calming down. Breath in breath out. Count to ten then to twenty. Repeat. A few minutes later he was calm and stood up shakily. Nai and Yogi were staring at him in concern and he glared at them.

Yogi cleared his throat "Well now that we're here tell the sheep your home and we can go to Hirato's office to wait for him." Gareki looked around, just now noticing the sheep things now that they'd been mentioned. He figured from Yogi's words they were somehow voice activated. He didn't really care if "I'm home" was the password. He'd say it. Didn't mean he'd have to mean it. "I'm home" he said in his usual monotone.

Nai repeated the phrase and the sheep nodded "Voices recognized baa" Yogi smiled "Let's get to Hirato's office. When we're there we can get... those off of you guys." he was obviously referring to Nai's handcuffs and Gareki's collar. They followed him through the ship and stopped in a room. Yogi brought out some huge clippers and gut Nai's handcuffs off but no matter how hard he tried couldn't get Gareki's collar off.

The collar was electronic so he couldn't pick the lock. So Nai was free of his locks but Gareki's wasn't. Gareki tried to ignore how upset that made him and he must of done a good job because nobody asked him about it. Hirato showed up a little later and the interrogation began. Gareki didn't know much and Nai knew even less.

By the end of it Hirato looked a little frustrated "We got nothing then." Yogi looked at him "Nothing?" Hirato nodded "All computer in the place had been wiped clean of anything important and transferred to some device somewhere. None of the bodies had any devices on them and some of them may have escaped. Gareki you mentioned an old man correct?"

Gareki nodded and Hirato sighed "We didn't find any old man. So that's at least one that escaped. How many were at the mansion Gareki?" Gareki glanced away "13. Besides me and Nai." Hirato nodded "We found twelve bodies so that means the man was the only one to escape." there was a minute of silence and Gareki seethed over his master surviving.

Hirato spoke then "Yogi. Could you not get the collar off?" Yogi shook his head "No. The metals to thick to cut and the lock is electronic." Hirato nodded thoughtfully then "Come here Gareki." Gareki sighed but went over to him and Hirato beckoned him to lean down. He did but when he saw Hirato reaching for the collar he jerked backwards.

Hirato blinked in surprise "Gareki I need to look at that collar." Gareki glared a little "Why?" Hirato gave him a serious look "I may be able to get it off. Just let me look at it." Gareki stood there for a minute. He didn't want ANYONE to touch it. To many bad memories but if he could get it off. He took a deep breath and moved closer again. Closing his eyes as Hirato's hands moved up to inspect the collar.

He tried to keep his breathing even as the collar was toyed with. He didn't want to have another panic attack. Suddenly the collar was released and he could back away again. He did so as quickly as possible and just breathed for a minute.

Hirato sighed "Gareki. I'm afraid I'm going to have to break my promise to you. That collar doubles as a mini computer and the information from the mansions may have been transferred to the collar. We can not allow you to leave while still in possession of the collar. We will try very hard to find a way to remove it. I'm deeply sorry."

Hirato bowed a little, actually looking sorry for having to go back on his word. Gareki just stared at him before his words sunk in. He couldn't leave? The collar was keeping him here? He didn't realize he was hyperventilating until his vision began to go dark. He distantly heard Nai yell out as he fell into unconsciousness.

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><p>So... New story? (hides from crowd of enraged readers) no but really. I apologize for starting this instead of updating but you know how plot bunnies work (glares at own brain) anyway hope you enjoyed the first chapter of ANOTHER story that I will have to update eventually. *Sighs* oh well. I enjoyed writing this chapter and I know that Gareki seems OOC but he does have years of actual physical abuse shoved on him now so I tried to keep it to how I'd imagined he'd act if it was this way. And yeah I gave him issues with touching and collars bc come on he'd definitely have issues. He's emotionally stunted, a killer, and practically a slave. and** (Spoiler for later in the story)** he's been raped at one point **(spoiler over) **so yeah I think it's justified.


	2. Chapter 2

When Gareki woke up the first thing he noticed was that the room wasn't his. That sent him into guarded mode instantly until the memories from last night kicked in and his hand flew to his throat to check the collar. It was still there and he fumed in his head over that. He was pissed off that he couldn't leave and that it was all this collars fault.

Then it hit him. Why should he listen to these people? Why not just find an exit next time this ship landed and leave? He needed his freedom. He couldn't stand to be cooped up again, and the ship isn't even as large as the mansion and he doubts these people will let him continue his missions or give him new ones.

Until he can get off this ship however Gareki was just going to continue his normal way of not speaking unless absolutely needed and basically ignoring these people as often as possible. Just then the door opened and the blond man from yesterday, Yogi walked in. He looks surprised when he see's Gareki up but then he smiled

"Good morning Gareki! I'm glad your finally awake!" he quieted a little "Uhm.. Hirato told me to tell you that he really is sorry and that he hopes you won't bear a grudge. We really do need that collar though just in case." He looked so hopeful that Gareki would forgive them. If Gareki hadn't been trained out of sympathy long ago he'd almost feel sorry for him. Almost.

Gareki just gave Yogi a flat look and didn't answer. Yogi pouted and sighed "Would you like some breakfast? Nai is still here to. We're helping him find somebody named Karoku. You two were together at the mansion." Gareki sighed and decided that yes, he was hungry "I'll eat." he said. Yogi smiled "Okay! The eating hall is right this way! Follow me!" then he began leading the way.

Gareki shook his head at Yogi's idiotic enthusiasm, obviously the man was insane. They got to the eating hall and Gareki was introduced, rather enthusiastically, to a blond girl and a woman with blue hair, who's names were Tskumo and Iva. Gareki nodded to them in greeting but otherwise didn't react.

There was a kind of awkwardness for a minute before Iva broke it "So. You're Gareki? The boy with the golden ticket to Kafka." Gareki just nodded and Iva beamed "Good. Maybe this time we can actually get some hard evidence. Though" and here she grew a little more serious "I've been informed of your circumstances. I'm sorry."

Gareki really didn't care how sorry these people were, he planned to leave this place one way or another but he nodded his acceptance of the apology. He needed to keep these people happy after all. If anybody was perturbed by his lack of speech they didn't bring it up and Gareki was able to eat the rest of his meal in peace.

After that came the question of where he'd be staying on this ship and he sighed and turned to Yogi "Do I get a room on this ship?" Yogi nodded with a smile "Yes. Though you'll have to share with Nai." Gareki didn't like that but it wasn't like he'd be able to change it "Fine. Where is the room?" Yogi smiled again "I'll show you." and once again he was being led around.

He was shown the way to the room and the library. He grabbed some books and went back to the room and read in there for the rest of the day. He didn't even leave when those sheep things told him it was dinner time. He didn't want to interact with anybody right now. About 30 minutes later Nai entered the room and saw Gareki on the top bunk.

He wandered over "Why didn't you come to dinner?" Gareki sighed "Just didn't want to." Nai still seemed a little confused but nodded "Okay." and changed into some pajamas before crawling into bed. "Goodnight Gareki." Gareki ignored him and curled up a little under the blanket. He hoped he didn't have a nightmare tonight.

Of course he was never loud when he had nightmares but that didn't provide him any comfort. Gareki could hear it when Nai fell asleep. His breathing got slower and deeper. Sadly Gareki couldn't fall asleep that fast. His hand was messing with the collar, a nervous habit he'd picked up some time ago. It didn't really do anything but keep it from pressing into his neck as hard sometimes.

His fingers ran over the electric lock and he swallowed. He hated this collar more than ever now. It was the only thing keeping him from complete freedom. He sighed and forced his hand from the collar and once more tried to sleep. This time he had a little more luck and he slowly fell asleep.

The next morning he woke up feeling only a little tired. He hadn't had any major nightmares so all in all it was one of his better mornings. Nai was still asleep and a quick glance at the clock said it was 7:05. Gareki considered his options and decided that no, it wouldn't be wise to skip to many meals. So he got up and went to breakfast.

He was greeted by a hyperactive Yogi and a more subdued Tskumo. Iva was nowhere in site and Gareki hadn't seen Hirato since the bastard broke his promise. Yogi tried to talk to him throughout the meal but Gareki's continuous silence made him eventually give up with a pout. Gareki finished breakfast just as Nai finally entered the room.

Nai smiled at everybody but his smile seemed to widen when he saw Gareki "Good morning Gareki!" Nai said excitedly. Gareki sighed "Good morning Nai." Nai would be the only one he'd talk to from now on unless strictly needed. Nai hadn't broken any promises and the boy had been enslaved by that Mine woman, even if it was just a few days.

Gareki went back to the room and read until lunch where the sheep decided they'd had enough of him ignoring them and forcefully brought him to the eating hall. Gareki ate his lunch reluctantly and fumed all the way back to the room. When Yogi showed up next suggesting they all play some games Gareki just shut the door in his face.

He could hear Yogi's disappointed sigh on the other side of the door but he didn't care. He had no intention of doing anything with these people. He went back to reading and somewhere in the middle of the book fell asleep. When Nai came back Gareki was locked in a nightmare that didn't show in any outward sign that Nai could have picked up. Nai fell into a dreamless sleep but Gareki was trapped in memories of cruel times.

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><p>YAY CHAPTER 2 *throws confetti around* Hope you liked this chapter and the quicker than usual update. Happy Thanksgiving everybody!<p> 


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